Worthy

I often feel unworthy. I face this feeling when I write on serious topics. I question whether I’m qualified to write about certain subjects, conjuring a tornado of negative thoughts: I’m not perfect. I’m not a Zen master. I’m not Dr. Nicodemus. I’m not worthy.

I could blame my upbringing for this psychological defect. I wasn’t encouraged to be more than I was. However, I clearly remember being told what I wasn’t. Whenever I catch myself inside this whirlwind of negative thought, I recognize what I’m doing and redirect my self-talk toward a more positive direction. Instead of what “I’m not” I focus on what “I am”: I am kind. I am genuine. I am adding value. I am worthy.

Our level of self-worth is directly affected by the rules we’ve built for ourselves. If you have a rule for yourself that says “I am not a baker if I don’t own a bakery,” then guess what—you’re not going to feel worthy enough to call yourself a baker until you open a bakery.

Most of our internal rules have been shaped by years of reinforcement. That doesn’t mean we have to live by those rules for the rest of our lives, though. When we catch ourselves feeling unworthy, we should look for the rule we’ve established that makes us feel this way.

Regardless of what we’ve done in our pasts, we still get to decide our own levels of self-worth based on the rules we’ve established. As long as you are living up to those rules, you are worthy

– Ryan Nicodemus

[Read more inspiring essays from The Minimalists]

BECAUSE I DESERVE IT!

We all want to make good choices, the correct selection, the most righteous decision. It goes without saying.

But of course our impulsive, mammalian brains like to get in the way and muck it all up, don’t they? Which means that instead of relying on reason and data and facts, we seek to validate our bad decisions via any-means-necessary-type justification.

One of the worst forms of this kind of rationalization is Because I deserve it!

Unfortunately, we’ve gotten good at using this excuse to push aside logic and give grounds for our screw ups. This sense of entitlement is a slippery slope, though.

Sometimes the excuse is benign (at least initially): After my long day, I deserve an ice cream cone! Sure, most of us won’t experience negative effects from a single dessert. But this fact is quickly torpedoed when one cone turns into two, which turns into four, and so forth. After all, if you deserve one treat, why not more? Why not every day?

Even if you do deserve it, or even if the decision is the right one, there’re myriad good reasons—rationals based on sound reason, logical thought, or even personal intuition—to make the right decision. Because I deserve it! is never one of them.

[Read more at The Minimalists]

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